Book Review - The Girls Are Not Fine:The Cost of Ambition, Careers and Becoming

Book Name: The Girls Are Not Fine
Author: Harnidh Kaur

Publication: Penguin

Genre: Non-Fiction

“When a woman tells the truth she is creating the possibility for more truth around here.” - Adrienne Rich

The Girls Are Not Fine: The Cost of Ambition, Careers and Becoming by Harnidh Kaur is a non-fiction book that gives voice to opinions many women have kept on mute for years, and are still struggling to raise in many spaces.

Review

This book has four parts, each portraying different aspects of women’s conditioning. These include On Unravelling, On Work, On Relationships, and On Money. Every phase and aspect of a woman’s life deserves to be talked about. From the phase where a woman says “I am fine,” which actually means “I am not fine,” to the phase where she speaks up for her rights in her family or workplace because she knows her limits and what lies beyond them, this book covers it all. These are conversations not only women need, but society needs to hear too.

One aspect that people often overlook is the importance of female friendships. Of course, it is often misunderstood, especially because many of us have come across situations that reinforce the idea that “a woman is the worst enemy of another woman.” But what many do not talk about enough is this: when women are friends, there is no power strong enough to hold them back. The book beautifully explores how every woman deserves a female friend who understands and stands by her.

The author’s writing style is straightforward and engaging, allowing readers to feel the pain and pressure many women experience throughout their lives, from birth to adulthood, from homes to schools, from colleges to workplaces, and beyond. She does not shy away from challenging friends, peers, families, and systems through her words and the realities she presents in this book. This is not a book only for women. It is also a mirror held up to society, asking every individual to examine how deeply bias still exists around us.

Readers who enjoy non-fiction will find this book engaging and relatable. For women, it feels like someone is speaking for them. For men, it feels like someone speaking directly to them, challenging them to confront the consequences of what happens when women finally begin taking their own stand. The author also includes small reflective activities called The Girls Club Toolkit after most chapters, encouraging readers, especially girls, to understand that “being fine” should never be forced. It should be felt honestly, and spoken aloud when it is not.

As the title suggests, the book opens with a chapter called The Girls Were Never Fine, and the author immediately begins with the do’s and don’ts often placed on girls. It makes for a compelling opening and instantly draws readers in to discover what more the author has to say. There are moments where certain facts or contexts feel repetitive, and at times it can come across as slightly preachy. But if you look past that, the book remains powerful and deeply relevant.

From reading and annotating to fully devouring this book, readers are likely to have a memorable experience. They may giggle, laugh, smile, or even shed a tear or two. Pick up this book if you are ready to face the mirror and reflect honestly on yourself and the world around you.

Two major takeaways for me:

1. Imposter syndrome is real. The only way through it is to face it, fight it, and keep showing up so you can rise and grow.

2. If you cannot name it, you cannot navigate through it. Be honest about what you feel and how you feel it. Do not hesitate to name it, because understanding begins there.

Side note (me giggling): I made so many notes while reading this, and honestly, if they ever got out, people might never look at me the same way after knowing what was going on in my head.

Buy From Here: The Girls Are Not Fine