Letter To My Younger Self : Zeal

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Dear younger me,

I feel a little overwhelmed as this is the last letter of this series. It feels like there is still so much more I could have shared with you. Maybe I will return to this series someday, when I have grown a little more and can see the difference between who I am now and who I will become, just as I have been writing to you from your future.

You know, life has never been easy for you, and even today it is not always easy for me to feel free. There are many trigger points. Sometimes, I feel like I am overreacting and that my anger is unnecessary. But at the same time, I also feel that it is justified. I had my own way of doing things, and when things do not go the way I expect, I react. Even now, I struggle to understand what is right and what is wrong. I question myself often, and it becomes difficult to find clarity.

There is one thing I keep reminding myself of. I should not lose my fire while trying to fit in. I am not a piece that needs to fit into someone else’s puzzle. I am a whole puzzle on my own, with pieces made of emotions, skills, experiences, knowledge, and so much more. It feels comforting to understand myself better now. You started this process, and I am continuing it. I know it will keep evolving with time.

This letter, along with the twenty-five others I have written to you, had a reason. It was a selfish one. I was losing myself a little and feeling overwhelmed, so I decided to give myself a chance to heal through these letters. I am still not sure if I am fully healed. Even now, my anger returns like an unwanted guest.

Thank you for letting me express all of this. It feels lighter to put these thoughts into words. I hope that when I revisit these letters in the future, something within me shifts, and I grow into a better version of myself.

Yours truly,
A little broken and a little healed Tanvi

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