A Lone Diwali
Diwali, the festival of lights, or as Arushi would quote, "The festival that brings hope and sense of renewal," was around the corner, and Arushi struggled to decide where to celebrate it.
Arushi was an independent single woman who lived in Gurugram in a shared three-bhk flat with her flatmates. She worked in an MNC where holidays on Indian festivals were limited or even no holiday at times. On other festivals, she would manage to stay back in Gurugram as the celebrations would last for a day or two, but whenever Diwali season was on, it made her struggle with her choice to visit home or stay at her flat.
While visiting the local market, she noticed vendors setting up shops selling diyas, lights, colorful decorations, and many more entities. It reminded her of her childhood when she visited the market with her mother and siblings to buy decorative items to adore their house. The nostalgic feeling moistened her eyes, but she held back and kept strolling in the market. Something was running in her mind that kept her on her toes.
After spending hours strolling in the market, she stopped by an old woman selling beautiful jhumkas and other types of earrings. The old woman welcomed her with a smile and told her, "Beta, choose any piece. I will offer a good discount." Arushi smiled and started looking for a perfect piece to match the outfit she bought recently for Diwali. Even when she did not know where she would celebrate Diwali, she was clear about what she would wear. It was amusing, yet she was like this only.
It was challenging to stick to one piece. Arushi checked the outfit's color and style again and again from her recent Myntra orders. After much struggle, she finalized two pairs of earrings. One was hoop earrings in golden color, and the other was chandelier earrings in golden color with magenta stones matching with the Diwali outfit, she got from Myntra for herself. When she asked the seller for the price, she quoted Rs 120 for both and told Arushi to pay only Rs 100 as per the discounted price. With a broad smile, Arushi offered her Rs 200 and told her to keep it as it was festival time. The old woman blessed her.
The market started bustling when Arushi began walking towards the exit gate. It was challenging to step smoothly. Local markets in Gurugram were not easy to come by during festivals. Somehow Arushi reached the exit gate. She opened the Uber application on her phone to book an auto ride to her flat. Within five minutes, she was sitting in the auto riding to her place in Gurugram.
With a heavy heart, Arushi went inside and locked the main door. She opened her room's door and collapsed in her bed. Arushi dozed off trying to figure out if she would go home or stay there alone. She woke up with a jolt when somebody knocked at her door. Coming to her senses, she turned on the light as it was already 9 p.m., and her room was dark. It was her other flatmate, Sia. She came to bid her bye, as she was also leaving for Pune to celebrate Diwali with her family on a late-night flight.
Sia also touched upon Arushi's weakling, questioning her plan to leave for home to celebrate Diwali. Arushi did not say anything, but this time, handled the situation in a better way, covering up by asking for Sia's plan to return. She asked Sia to get her home-cooked snacks made by her mother. Before Sia could bring up that topic again, she had to leave as her ride to the airport arrived. They bid bye to each other.
Along with Tina and Sia, there was one more person who was behind Arushi to know her Diwali plan. Her phone started buzzing. It was her mother who wanted her to visit home on Diwali. Reluctantly, Arushi took her call. Before exchanging any greetings, her mother's voice came in, "You are coming home on Diwali, right? What will you do alone in your flat? I am sure your flatmates are also going home. What is it with you that is keeping you away from us? Please....." Arushi interrupted, "Maa, who told you that I am not coming? I only talked to Radhika. The little back biter cannot keep anything to her."
Her mother replied, "Yes, your sister told me about your plan." She was sobbing by now. Arushi could not take it, feeling guilty about her decision. Till now, she was in a dilemma to go home or stay back, but now her mother's plea and her sister's act helped her decide for herself to stay back. She told her mother, "Since you know that I am not coming, please let me be. I want to stay alone this Diwali." Another voice came from her mother's side. It was her father who was not asking but ordering her to come.
The adamant Arushi disconnected the call and put it on flight mode. She did not know what was going on at her home after her confirmation of not coming home. She decided to sleep to clear her mind.
When she woke up and turned her phone, she noticed notifications from her family, friends, and people she had not talked to for long. They must broadcast messages on WhatsApp. She read the first message she opened, "Happy Dhanteras." There were ten voicemails from her mother and twenty from her father. She wrinkled her face in annoyance. Ignoring everything, she freshened up and prepared a quick meal for herself as she had been hungry since last night.
Taking a seat on the couch with her breakfast plate, when she was about to take her first bite, her phone rang. It was her mother again. She picked up her call and started saying, "Please do not start again with the lecture. I am not coming, and that is final." Her mother told her that she did not call to request her to come home. She called her to remind her to invest in liquid gold, as it was Dhanteras. Arushi thanked her for reminding her. But before she could disconnect, her mother started again.
Arushi told her she was having breakfast and she would call later. After disconnecting the call, she invested in liquid gold and prayed to Goddess Laxmi for the blessings. She shared the screenshot of the purchase with her mother. The day went by smoothly as she rested the whole day. By night, she gazed at the sky for the different colors it had due to all the crackers, poppers, and rockets people were bursting. The next two days were a time for celebrations. She did not plan what she would do alone.
On Naraka Chaturdashi (Choti Diwali), she enlightened a few scented candles and rejoiced in the view from her balcony. The sky was more colorful than the previous day. She felt contented. But the next day turned out a little difficult for her. When she woke up, she noticed more notifications of people sending broadcast messages and sharing pictures of Diwali celebrations with their families. Her social media was already filled with Diwali celebrations even before the main day.
Arushi's father called her, and he sounded low. She understood he would mention feeling sad that she did not go home when everyone's kids, including her siblings, were home. She did not want to start her day with mellow drama, so she changed the topic and started telling her father about her plan for the day. The plan did not even exist, and she made that one after hearing her father's voice.
After the call, Arushi sat on the couch and felt sad and lonely. She scrolled through her social media and cried for choosing to stay alone on this festival when everyone was sharing their happy moments.
She slept the whole day and woke up in the evening to light some scented candles to celebrate Diwali, as it was her choice, and there was no point sulking on this auspicious occasion.
"Your life takes several turns, but each turn is the result of what you want to have or decide."
This blog beautifully captures the emotional struggle of choosing between independence and family, especially during festivals like Diwali.
ReplyDeleteArushi’s inner turmoil and the contrasting joys of being alone yet missing home really hit home for many of us. It’s a relatable reminder of how life is a constant balance between personal choices and familial ties. The way the narrative flows, from her market visit to lighting candles alone, feels real and intimate, making readers reflect on their own decisions during such moments.
The closing line is a powerful takeaway—our choices shape our path, and sometimes, we just have to embrace them.
This is so relatable ! As a young person , i went through soemthing similar , like we all do - a quest for independence. Im a parent now, and it would be difficult to not have my child over for festivals .. my feelings resonate with the innumerable voice notes that i would also leave .. beautiful piece of work
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